Reparenting Your Inner Child: A Path to Forgiveness This Holiday Season

As the holidays approach, many of us anticipate joyful reunions, but we also brace for the emotional complexities that family gatherings can bring. For those with unresolved pain from childhood, facing family members can bring up wounds that never fully healed. One powerful way to start mending these old hurts is through reparenting your inner child—a practice that allows you to access forgiveness even for those who may never fully understand or acknowledge the harm they caused.

What is Reparenting?

Reparenting involves becoming the caregiver your younger self needed, helping you heal deep-seated emotions from childhood. Rather than depending on a partner, friend, or even the people who hurt us to fill that role we take responsibility for giving our inner child the compassion, safety, and understanding they lacked. This practice empowers us to find peace independently of the people or situations that once caused us pain, breaking the cycle of dependence on others for our healing.

Why Reparenting Helps Heal Old Wounds

The concept of reparenting is about giving your inner child the security and love they might have missed. It’s an intentional process of quiet reflection and acknowledgment that allows us to connect with those childhood feelings and find out what we needed but didn’t get.

One powerful exercise in reparenting is simply connecting with your inner child by imagining yourself as you were—perhaps five, six, or seven years old—whenever those difficult memories began. As you visualize, you might ask, “What do you need right now? How are you feeling? What do you want to hear from me?”

For many of us, like myself, this practice opened the door to real forgiveness. I remember being just four or five years old, feeling helpless and terrified as my father, who struggled with schizophrenia, would have episodes of rage. He was physically and verbally abusive to my mother and older siblings, and as a child, I couldn’t understand what was happening—I only knew I was scared and angry.

As an adult, that anger lingered. It wasn’t until many years later that I found a path to healing. I vividly remember September 11th. My father, who still lived in Canada, went looking for my mother to ensure we were safe. This led him to call me, and for the first time, I told him all the things I’d kept buried since childhood. Though he couldn’t acknowledge or own his actions, I felt an immense sense of closure. It was as though I was speaking up on behalf of my inner child, giving her the voice she hadn’t had back then.

Finding Closure Without an Apology

Reparenting allows us to give ourselves the emotional closure we may never receive from others. Although my father never apologized, that conversation marked the beginning of my forgiveness journey. Through this process, I found empathy for him, realizing that his mental illness often dictated his actions. Reparenting my inner child helped me release the resentment I had held onto for so long and ultimately allowed me to rekindle my relationship with him.

“In this way, forgiveness becomes a gift we give ourselves. We no longer wait for validation or remorse from those who may never be able to give it. Instead, by nurturing our inner child, we rewrite the story, breaking free from the grip of resentment and walking into family gatherings with a sense of peace, compassion, and strength.”

The Path to Forgiveness

When we offer love to our inner child, we cultivate empathy for the adults we’ve become—and, eventually, for those who may have caused our pain. Many parents, aunts, uncles, or caretakers were doing the best they could, even if that best was far from what we needed. Reparenting teaches us to let go of the expectation that they’ll someday apologize or recognize our hurt.

In this way, forgiveness becomes a gift we give ourselves. We no longer wait for validation or remorse from those who may never be able to give it. Instead, by nurturing our inner child, we rewrite the story, breaking free from the grip of resentment and walking into family gatherings with a sense of peace, compassion, and strength.

This holiday season, as you sit down with family, know that you carry within you the love and strength to heal your wounds. Reparenting your inner child not only mends the past but also builds a foundation for future relationships—rooted in self-acceptance, empathy, and, ultimately, forgiveness.

Looking for a place to start?
Click here to download the 3-Step Reparenting Your Inner Child Guide and begin your path to forgiveness today.

If you’d like to continue your forgiveness healing journey, pick up The 90-Day Conquering Unforgiveness Journal for High-Performing High Achievers filled with tools and resources to support you and your loved ones through the holidays and beyond. It’s a gift that keeps on giving.  This season, let’s walk into our gatherings feeling lighter, open, and prepared for the connections that matter most.

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